If you’ve jumped into the online maze, you know it’s like taking on another job, that it’s “full on.” Is it fun? Uh, no, not exactly. Someone should offer a master’s degree in “how to succeed at online dating.”
It becomes readily apparent early on that you must “kiss” a lot of frogs before you find your prince, and no doubt guys on the other side of online dating have their own version of that metaphor—kissing “frogettes.”
I’m not currently online, but a few of my mature gal-pals and I decided to compare notes about some of the classics we’ve “met” there. And when it comes to losers and winners, every site has its share of both. There’s plenty of quantity—but quality? That’s the elusive prize everyone seeks no matter where they search. Just like in life, quantity usually exceeds quality.
Online dating time-wasters
Fellow midlife and boomer gals, we thought you might enjoy these fellows—or not. (Hint: We didn’t.)
“Mike”: His “tag line” is “Awake in the dream!!!” Does he mean “nightmare”?
“Jim”: The question on this site was “What are you passionate about?” or a derivation thereof. His answer, which makes us want to (not) message him immediately: “I’m not passionate about anyone or anything right now, however I do enjoy long-distance running.” Gals, get your running shoes on and start training for your next marathon—to run far, far away.
“Joe”: She knew she was in trouble when he said, “I go to the track every Saturday—I’m a professional. I don’t lose. But my sister did say I have a major mental disorder and just I’m not sure.”
Several “nice” attempts at cutting this one off from the online communication stage failed to work, and one Saturday at 6 a.m. the phone rang to wake my friend from a sound sleep. “I just really want you to meet me, you need to meet me, I want to meet you,” he repeated.
She panicked, and fearing for her life, responded, “I’m back with my partner, my husband.”
Then, “click.” A minute later, the phone rang again—she answered ready to tell him off—and the suitor blasted loud rock music into the handset. Trouble was, he lived in the same ‘hood as she, although he didn’t have her address. She thanked her instincts that she never met him “in poison,” she says.
“Tim”: “You really must meet me. When can we get together?” The messages kept coming, persistently and repeatedly. Perhaps it was his dated profile photo—with brown tones—that was her first clue. After nearly two months, she agreed to a public coffee session, and as soon as she did, he blocked her communication: games people play.
“Fred”: “I still live with my mother.”
“John”: “No, I’ve never been married. I’m scared to death of it, after watching my parents.”
“If I knew then…”
Our biggest gripe about dating on the Net: So many surfers, yet few willing to ride the big wave. Some men (and women I am sure) are there to play: to reach out, waste your time, and never, ever intend to commit to a relationship. How do you tell, so you can head this off at the pass—unless you, too, want the same thing or no commitment?
My friends and I are still seeking the answers. Of course, statistics show many people meet their forever person online. Many more don’t. Boys will be boys and girls will be girls—even when they’re over 45 years old. For sure, online dating has provided options that far surpass “meeting in a bar.”