Mind Your Body TV Episode 11 with Bobbi Palmer.
Ever wondered about essential dating rules? Does “dating” strike fear in your heart? Is trying it better than being alone with no one to share things with? Dating isn’t without pitfalls, as AARP’s fall 2003 survey revealed. “Men over 50” and “Women over 50” named their top three dating complaints as…
1) Both: Dating partners with a lot of baggage.
2) Both: Dates who want to get serious too fast.
3) Men disliked women who become extremely difficult to get along with after a few dates. Women admitted to being clueless about where to meet men and about meeting too few new men.
Essential dating rules you MUST use
As a dating and relationship coach for women over 40, Bobbi Palmer has written a curriculum she calls “Finding Hope and Finding Him.” Oh, and “yes, you can” if you MASTR the craft with essential dating rules she explains here:
M – Me and Me first. Keep in mind that 1) The way you treat yourself is how others will treat you. 2) What you expect from people is what you will receive.
This is especially true of how men look at women. When asked what qualities most attract them to women as partners (not just playmates), most men place confidence on the top of the list.
A – Assess your list [of qualities you’re seeking in a partner]. To find the man who’s going to share your life and stay with you through thick and thin, he needs to be more than a good date! The truth is that you need to see his character and behavior to know if he’ll be a good partner for you. A simple list doesn’t do that for you. Remember, there really is no such thing as perfect, ladies. If I had gotten my fantasy, my Larry would be rich and a few inches taller. If he got his, I would be rich and many pounds lighter.
S – Shed your stuff. Start with this:
Grab your Grownup Girl, the one who makes good decisions, knows what she wants and how to get it, is nurturing and caring, has other loving and meaningful relationships in her life, has accomplished and overcome a lot, and is pretty darn smart.
Take a few minutes to think about the relationship you would love to have in your life. What is it like between the two of you? How do you want to feel with him? Write down some of those feelings.
T – Time to get out and trail blaze. Here’s all you have to do, starting tomorrow, when you see a man by himself:
- Make eye contact, smile and say “hi.”
- Ask a simple question. No need to be brilliant.
- Find something you like about him or what he shares and talk about it.
- Talk about yourself.
R – Real women find their man. So be the real you. “Women can expend so much energy trying to twist like a pretzel to fit what we think men want us to be. It’s crazy because, first, we are often wrong about what men want. Second, men—the mature, smart ones who know something about women—can see right through the charade…and it’s a huge turn-off.
There you have them–essential dating rules you need. Now “You go, girl!”